So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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