Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize