she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
