I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
