The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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