There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
