I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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