Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize