are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
