I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
