i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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