brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
