There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
