Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
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He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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