He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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