Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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