I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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