Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
