Your face is a jimmy john
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
