Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
