before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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