she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
