remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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