Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
