i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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