Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
