You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
