This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Randomize
