We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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