So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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