i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
