told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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