the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Holy sore nipples Batman
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
