I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
