just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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