I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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