everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
