So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
