he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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