You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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