I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
