If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm passing your future prison.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
