when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
