Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
