your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
