dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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