Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
