u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i love accidental penises.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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