Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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