dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
