smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
