Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
