I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
