my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
