i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
