what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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