i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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