I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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