so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
