you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize