I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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