she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
