ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
