I need help removing her.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
