I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
