I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
