Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
