What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
