you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
