this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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