Only a mothe r could love this liver
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
so much tequila, so little girl.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize