Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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